Sibling Therapy
by Cerulean Apocalypse
Summary: Damon can be a bad brother, but now he's done the unthinkable: Driving Stefan's car into the living room. Screaming ensues, and Elena, sick and tired of it, sends them to Sibling Therapy. Post 2.22, slightly OOC.
1. Chapter 1

Authors' Note: (yes, there are two of us, we're sisters) This was Cerulean's idea, but Apocalypse is a better writer. This is our first fanfiction, so we are open to and appreciate constructive criticism, and flames if you feel it's really that bad. We do not own The Vampire Diaries. We hope you enjoy it.

Sibling Therapy: Prologue

"Damon! What did you do to my car?"

That was the first thing Elena heard when she walked into the Boarding House one morning.

"What's the difference? It was lame before, and it's lame now. So what's your problem?" asked Damon, sounding genuinely confused. (It was an act, of course. He knew exactly what he had done.)

"WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE! You drove it into the living room and got blood all over the seats! Oh, look, Elena's here," said Stefan, turning around to greet his girlfriend. At that, Damon came running in at vampire speed, soaking wet and shirtless (he had been in the shower)

"Hi guys. Wait, Stefan, why is your car in the living room?" asked Elena, clearly confused.

"Ask Damon, okay?" said Stefan, clearly annoyed.

"I'm sorry, brother. Are you mad?" Damon asked with mock confusion.

Stefan sighed and shook his head. "I'm not mad, Damon. I'm just dis-" At that, he seemed to lose his temper. "Who the hell am I kidding? I'm not mad, I'm furious! Why do you insist on making my life hell?"

"Well, who made my life hell by forcing me to turn? You did! Who screwed up my chances with Katherine? You did!" screamed Damon, losing his temper completely.

"Well I was with her first! You stole her!"

"Well you killed Mommy!"

Stefan gasped in horror. Damon had gone too far.

They began screaming at each other about everything they had done to each other including their perpetual argument about Damon flirting with Elena.

"I'm still here, you know!" yelled Elena. They stopped.

"Sorry," they said in unison.

"It's okay. Actually, that's the reason I'm here. See, there's this sibling counseling session tomorrow night at the Grill. I signed you two up. You're going."

"Whyyyyyy?" Damon asked, doing his signature 'flirty eye thing'.

"Because ever since Stefan came back from working for Klaus, all you two have done is argue about things that happened a century ago, and I'm sick of it. You can't argue for eternity, you know."

"Watch me," snapped Damon.

"Actually, I kind of agree," said Stefan. Then they started arguing again.

End of Chapter One

Authors' Note: Well, what did you think? Read, review, complain that we overused the word 'said'. For the next chapter: they go to the counseling session and meet some weird people, and some people you already know…. (Maybe Matt and Vicki? Klaus and Elijah? Greta and Luca? If you want it, request it.


	2. Chapter 2:Other Arguing Siblings

Authors' Note: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. We love hearing your opinions. And Now, here is the second chapter. Enjoy! Also, we do not own The Vampire Diaries.

Chapter Two: Other Arguing Siblings

"Do we have to do this?" asked Damon. They were in a back room of the Grill, and the scene that awaited them was one of total chaos. Siblings tackled, screamed at, and threw things at each other.

"Yes, you have to," insisted Elena. "Now go!" she shoved Damon and Stefan into that room and left.

Stefan sighed in a brooding manner and surveyed the scene in front of him. Two sisters, one with light brown hair with pink streaks, and the other with short black hair with blue streaks, were wrestling on the floor.

"Apocalypse, why do you always take my stuff? You took my Starlight Fairy Barbie when we were 7, and now you always steal my makeup! WHY DO YOU EXIST TO ANNOY ME?" screamed the blue haired one.

"Cerulean, we've been over this! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS BLAME ME FOR YOUR PROBLEMS?" yelled Apocalypse. Then Cerulean yanked Apocalypse's hair, causing her to shriek in pain.

Damon stared at the people sitting next to them, a set of ancient geezers, probably as old as they were.

"Herman!" yelled one.

"What? I can't hear you, Sherman, you old fart!" screamed Herman.

"I'm the younger one, you old coot!" argued Sherman.

"No, I am!" insisted Herman. "And maybe I'd have better hearing if you didn't set off that explosion that caused me and Emma to break up in 1946!"

"I only did that because I had her first, and you stole her!"

"Well, it doesn't matter anymore, does it? Because when you tried to get her back, that was when her secrets were discovered, and she got the capital punishments, and Father was so angry at us for falling for her that he tried to shoot us and we ended up faking our own deaths and being stuck together forever! Then, you made things even worse and promised me an eternity of misery!" Herman bellowed. For a minute, everything went quiet. Then Sherman punched his brother, and they began trying to kill each other (figuratively, of course).

"That story sounds familiar," said Stefan. Damon shrugged.

"Maybe we've heard it once or twice….." suggested Damon. Then he shook his head. "Nah, that's impossible." Then he looked to his left, where pair of 5 year old boys were fighting.

"No, Mommy likes me better! I was born first! And besides, Aidan, I'm much handsomer than you!" the first one shouted.

The other boy, evidently named Aidan, turned red faced. "Well, I'm better at making friends, Peter. All the girls in school like finger painting with me. 'Cause I'm a better painter and you can't paint. Mommy hung my painting of Larzipan McMuffin and Colonel Mustard on the FRIDGE. She put yours in the vegetable-be-gone-machine. So, there." Aidan had gone too far. Peter lunged at his twin, and attempted to strangle him with his jacket.

Damon rolled his eyes. "I'm so glad we don't actually know anyone here." Stefan nodded in agreement. Sadly, they were so incredibly wrong. As if on cue, Klaus and Elijah walked in, followed by what appeared to be Matt and Vicki, along with Sheriff Forbes and a pretty blonde woman, who must have been her sister. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me," Damon groaned, looking at who had just walked in.

"Klaus, what are you and Elijah doing here? I haven't seen you since you told me to leave," Stefan asked, confused.

"I wouldn't have had to if you weren't constantly complaining about your brother 24/7! You didn't need to wake me up at three in the morning with your constant brooding about how Damon accidentally let your favorite pony run away when you were five! So I figured I'd just let you leave temporarily until you settled your issues with your brother. When that happens, _then_ I'll let you tag along as I complete my evil plans," Klaus explained proudly. That was one of his best plans ever, and he'd only been thinking about it for a century. Because, you know, he's always one step ahead.

There was an awkward silence, during which the only sound that could be heard was Cerulean and Apocalypse arguing, something about a donut. Meanwhile, Damon slipped away to flirt with the pretty blonde woman.

"Heyyyyy," said Damon in his 'seductive voice'. The woman smiled.

"Hi, I'm Lydia!" she replied in a bubbly voice. "But don't flirt with me. I'm married, unlike my less hot sister over there," she pointed at Liz. "She's so annoying, the only guy who would marry her only did it to hide the fact that he was gay!" Lydia giggled dumbly. Liz walked over, eying her sister distastefully. It was clear that they did not get along.

"Don't make me regret listening to Caroline about this therapy thing," warned Liz.

"FYI, I only did it because my daughter Melinda agreed with her," snapped Lydia. Then Lydia's phone rang. Damon heard a snatch of, _it's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Fridaaaay!_ before Lydia answered.

"Hello, sweetie?" asked Lydia. "You have fun with Cousin Caroline, sweetie! Make sure she's good!" A little girl's voice answered.

"Cousin Caroline is always good! She's awesome! I wanna be just like her! Can I wear eyeliner and big girl clothes like she does?" asked the little girl.

"No! Absolutely not! Melinda, don't be slutty like she is!"

"What does slutty mean?" asked Melinda, but Lydia hung up on her. Finally, the counselor walked in.

"Okay! Who's ready to love their sibling!" she exclaimed brightly. Everyone in the room gave her a murderous look. As far as they were concerned, the only thing worse than a sibling you can't stand is the counselor that tries to make you love him/her.

End of Chapter Two

Authors' Note: We actually were fighting about a donut, because I kindly offered to buy Apocalypse a donut, but she was mad because I bought her a vanilla one rather than a lemon one. Anyway, leave us your thoughts! Was it good, bad, or horrendously flameworthy? We won't know unless you review!


	3. Chapter 3: Joy the Crazy Counselor

Authors' Note: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! It really means a lot to us. Also, we do not own The Vampire Diaries.

Chapter Three: Joy the Crazy Counselor

"Okay!" beamed the overly perky relationship counselor. "Let's get started! We are going to have so much fun together! But let's get to know each other first! We'll start with you two," she pointed to Peter and Aidan. "Now, tell me your name, age, and a little something about your relationship with each other."

"My name is Aidan," said Aidan. "I'm five years old and I'm better at finger-painting than my brother."

"My name is Peter, and Mommy loves me bester than my brother," added his twin.

Joy nodded, and explained, "Oh, I think that what we have here is a classic case of sibling rivalry! It happens so often with twins! See, you look alike, and people sometimes treat you the same, so you feel that you have to differentiate yourselves, but part of you wants to continue being alike, so you do the same things, but argue about who's better at it!"

"Nuh-uh," whined Aidan.

"You're stupid," complained Peter. Then, he and his twin continued their endless attempts to kill each other.

Joy shook her head, but continued to smile as she walked toward Herman and Sherman.

"And why are you two gentlemen here?" she asked, probably thinking that they were old and confused, and therefore not very intent on killing each other. She was so wrong.

"I'm Herman," said Herman, "And in 1946, I saw my brother with a pretty gal, but she was all wrong for him. So I took her off his hands. She had a criminal past that she was trying to hide. See, she was a former bank robber. My brother's too much of a goody two shoes to be with a girl like that, so I took her. He wouldn't forgive me, so he set off an explosion of fireworks, planning to blame it on me, but someone died and the police suspected Emma. They investigated her and found that she was wanted in thirty states for bank robbery. So she got arrested, and our father was so ashamed of us that he tried to shoot us, so we faked our deaths and ran. Then, Sherman promised me an eternity of misery!" Joy stared.

"Um, how old are you guys?" she questioned, trying to break the awkward silence that followed. The two exchanged glances.

"We don't actually know. One of us is a year older, but our mother never told us who was older," explained Sherman. More awkward silence.

"Okay, moving on!" Joy announced in her bubbly way. "What about you two lovely young ladies?" she asked Cerulean and Apocalypse, who were down on the floor pulling each others' hair out.

"Our names are Cerulean and Apocalypse. I'm Cerulean, the prettier, nicer one, and this is Apocalypse, the moody, whiny one. We're fraternal twins, and we're thirteen," explained Cerulean in her usual professional, charming, and polite manner. Then Apocalypse got up and screamed:

"You're such a MARY SUE!" and continued trying to murder each other.

"Okay, that sounds great! But we're going to move on!" Joy stepped over the crazy twins, who were once again rolling on the floor trying to kill each other, and went to Stefan and Damon. Her eye was twitching a bit, but she continued to smile.

"What about you two?" she asked. Apparently, she had learned her lesson by now and was clearly prepared to run if they got angry at each other.

"Okay, we're here because Stefan's girlfriend made us come. I'm Damon Salvatore, and I'm the older brother. This is my little brother Stefan, and you will allow us to leave right now. If Elena Gilbert comes, tell her we resolved all of our issues," said Damon, compelling the woman. Oddly, though, she didn't seem to be convinced. In fact, she raised her eyebrows and smiled.

"That won't work, Damon. See, I'm on vervain, and I believe that you have to work through your brotherly issues," explained Joy, winking at Damon.

"She's right, Damon," said Stefan. "Let's face it, we have a ton of issues that will only get worse. We have to fix this now."

"DWI, brother." Unfortunately, Liz, the sheriff, heard this and raised her eyebrows.

"Drive while intoxicated, Damon? Really?" she asked. Damon smirked.

"No, actually, it means 'Deal with it'."

"I could say the same thing to my sister," Liz said, eyeballing Lydia.

"What's your problem?" complained Lydia. "Whatever it is, it isn't my fault. I drove four hours just to get to this stupid town! And it's your fault if Caroline teaches little Melinda how be a slut! Liz, that girl stayed out all night with Tyler Lockwood! You'd have to be blind not to know what that means!" Liz knew enough about her vampire daughter to know what she wasn't doing, but if she explained to her sister that Caroline was a vampire, Lydia would only use this as further evidence that Liz was a terrible parent.

"Well, what about you?" asked Joy, walking over to Matt and Vicki, whom they had almost forgotten.

"I'm Matt. I'm seventeen, and my younger sister Vicki is here with me," he said, gesturing to Vicki. The problem was that she wasn't there. Only the vampires could see her because one of the side effects of Bonnie's spell. Mat could only see her because she chose to reveal herself to him. Joy did not know any of this, so she looked around the room.

"Where is she?" asked Joy.

"Sitting right next to me! Don't tell me you can't see her either!" yelled Matt.

"Okay Matt, I'm going to make you wait in the special room until the nice straightjacket patrol people come and get you! Okay?" She ushered Matt into a closet and locked the door.

"I'm not crazy! I swear! Vicki, help!" begged Matt.

"Whatever," said Vicki. She left. Meanwhile, Elijah and Klaus hid in the corner and whispered conspiratorially. Whatever that was about, it couldn't be good.

Authors' Note: End of chapter 3. In Chapter 4, we get see what Melinda (a.k.a., Lydia's daughter), Caroline, and Tyler do while everyone is at the therapy session, or locked in a closet.


	4. Chapter 4: Caroline Babysits

Authors' Note: _This chapter isn't really relevant to the general plot, so you can skip it and the story will still make sense. However, we recommend that you don't because it's kind of funny._ But Cerulean typed this recommendation, so it's nerdy. _Sorry._

Chapter 4: Caroline Baby-sits Mini-Caroline

"Okay, Melinda, how about we go to my room and you sit there nice and quiet until our moms get back from therapy. Okay?" asked Caroline in the kind of baby voice that people use when they're talking to small children.

"No, I don't want to. Can I play with you? Oh, and can you call me Minnie? All my friends do, but Mommy says that it sounds like what you would call a rat," said Minnie. She bounced up and down in the back seat of Caroline's car, causing her dirty blonde curls to bounce up and down.

"Okay, Minnie. But I have something to do later. With a friend," explained Caroline distractedly, attempting to concentrate on the road.

"What kind of friend? A boyfriend?" questioned Minnie, her green eyes huge with awe.

"Well, I, uh, I guess… um, maybe? It's a little complicated."

"Ooooh, what's his name?"

"Tyler Lockwood," Caroline said. Minnie paused in confusion.

"Lockwood? Like the mayor? Mommy tolded me about the Lockwoods. She said they were man-whores. What's a man-whore?" Caroline slammed on the brakes so hard that Minnie lurched forward and nearly fell out of her car seat. No wonder her mother needed sibling therapy.

"Your mommy taught you that word?" shrieked Caroline.

"Yeah. Why, is it bad? Is it like calling some one a snot-nose?" asked Minnie, looking like she would burst into tears.

"Yes, Minnie. It's very, very bad. Worse than snot-nose. Don't you dare say that when Tyler comes over!" said Caroline. Minnie began to cry. "No, don't cry, Minnie! It's okay, you didn't know!" Caroline soothed. Minnie stopped crying. Finally, they pulled up in front of Caroline's house.

"Can we please go to your room and try on makeup?" Minnie begged.

Caroline sighed. This child was so cute, and at the same time, so irritating. "Okay. Fine. Just this once though, okay?" Minnie shrieked with glee and ran up to Caroline's room.

…..

Two palettes of eye shadow and four sticks of eyeliner later, Minnie looked in the mirror. She grabbed a pair of pom-poms and shook them around. In her five-year-old mind, she looked just like Caroline! The real Caroline, meanwhile, was downstairs, having a 'snack', which (for a vampire) means a blood bag. Minnie did not know this. Consequently, when she ran downstairs to show Caroline what a wonderful makeup artist she was, she received quite a shock when she saw her cousin drinking a bag of B negative. Caroline, quite frankly, was also shocked. Despite everything she had been through in the past year, it was slightly surprising to find a grinning child wearing smudged lipstick, green eye shadow, and so much eyeliner that she looked like she was crying black tears standing in front of her.

"Why are you drinking blood? Are you a vampire?" asked Minnie quietly, eyes wide. Caroline, not wanting to frighten her, nodded slowly.

"But it's okay, I'm not going to-"

"THAT'S SO COOL!" Minnie yelled loudly enough to wake the neighbors.

"Sssh! You can't tell," whispered Caroline. "You have to pinky swear not to tell," she continued, holding out her pinky.

"Wow, this is serious," said Minnie solemnly, grasping Caroline's pinky. Of course, Caroline planned to compel her to forget anyway, but since the kid was so excited, she decided that letting her know for one day was no big deal. A few minutes later, Tyler knocked at the door. By then, Minnie had found a pair of plastic fangs and was skipping around singing, "I'M A VAMPIRE! I'M A VAMPIRE! Just like Caroline!"

Tyler jumped back a little when he saw the little girl with plastic fangs and too much makeup answering the door.

"Little girl, is Caroline here?" asked Tyler awkwardly. He wasn't good with children. Minnie nodded enthusiastically.

She turned around and screamed at the top of her lungs, "CAROLINE! Your boyfriend's here!" She turned back to Tyler and said, "She'll be with you in a moment. Would you like some tea?"

"Um, no thanks. I had some before I came," Tyler lied in a very convincing way.

"Okay," Minnie replied. Then a new thought dawned to her. "Are you Tyler Lockwood? Because if you are, Mommy always told me that if I see a boy Lockwood, I have to ask him if he's a man-whore. But I don't want to ask that cuz Caroline said it's a bad word, even worse than snot-nose," stated Minnie. She looked up at Tyler, awaiting his answer. He stared back at the small child, the two caught in an awkward silence.

Luckily, Caroline came downstairs at what moment, carrying a bottle of makeup remover. "Tyler, hi!" she exclaimed. Caroline walked over and hugged him.

"Hey Caroline," he responded, hugging her in return. He then whispered, quite loudly, into her ear, "Who's the kid? And why is she wearing so much makeup?"

Caroline turned back to her cousin. "Minnie, this is my friend, Tyler. Tyler, this is my cousin, Minnie."

Minnie smiled at Tyler. She then turned to Caroline. "Does he know you're a vampire?" Minnie questioned in an exaggerated whisper.

Caroline nodded. "Yes, Minnie, he knows."

"It's true, kid. I know she's a vampire," Tyler told Minnie. "Do you know what I am?" he asked her.

Minnie paused for a minute, thinking. "Italian?" she eventually guessed.

Tyler looked offended. "No, I'm a were-wolf." On that note, Minnie exploded into tears. "What did I say?" he asked obliviously.

"Werewolf bites can kill vampires!" wailed Minnie. "You're gonna bite Caroline!"

"No, no, see, I'm a good werewolf. I only bit a vampire once, and he was a total dick," explained Tyler.

"What's a dick? Is that his name?" asked Minnie, who had stopped crying.

"Tyler! Don't teach her more bad words! Her mom already does!" scolded Caroline. "And don't call Damon that! He saved us from Klaus, remember?"

"Who's Klaus?"

"He's this really psycho, evil half-vampire, half-werewolf who tried to kill us for this sacrifice ritual," offered Tyler.

"Maybe he's not evil. Maybe he's just misunderstood!" Minnie suggested. "Is he hot?"

"I didn't really notice, he was trying to kill us," Caroline explained patiently. However, Minnie had a new question.

"What about the guy who saved you? Is he hot, like my Prince Charming Ken doll?" she asked, looking at Tyler, who looked embarrassed.

"No comment," replied Tyler. He excused himself from the room. Minnie looked to Caroline expectantly, waiting for an answer.

She blushed. "Yes. Very. But don't tell Tyler I said that."

End of Chapter

Authors' Note: _So, what did you think? We know it wasn't really relevant to the rest of the story, but we just had to include that. Next chapter we'll be back at the therapy session and see what Klaus and Elijah were so diabolically whispering about.___**Please review. Give us your thoughts on the story. Also, if you also have sibling issues, try our sibling therapy exercise: Find something that you both hate, and discuss it. We find it very, very, enjoyable. Because let's face it: there's no better way to blow off some steam than ranting with your siblings.**_** If you can't think of anything, rant about random vegetables.**_

_**~Ce**__rulean_ and** Apocalypse**


	5. Chapter 5:Evil Meets OverEnthusiasm

Authors' Note: **Sorry we haven't updated for in a while, we've been busy. **_Thanks to everyone who reviewed. _**Did any of you actually try our sibling therapy exercise (**_by which we mean: find something you both hate and discuss it)_**?**_ Anyway, enjoy the chapter._

Chapter 5: Evil Meets Over-Enthusiasm

While Joy attempted to lock Matt in the closet, Klaus and Elijah got bored. So, they began to scheme and plot various ways to accomplish their big plan. They still hated each other, but they put aside their differences in order to pursue their mutual goal. What exactly that was, no one but themselves really knew, but they knew how they were going to get what they wanted. And that involved the Salvatores. Both of them. This was the main reason why Klaus decided to free Stefan. After that, they'd continue trying to reach their goal, this time with both Salvatore brothers as allies. Right now, though, there was still Joy to deal with.

"Okay, friends!" exclaimed Joy perkily. "We're going to try a special exercise now that we all know each other. It's called, Hug it Out!"

In Klaus's opinion, there was no lower act in the world than hugging your sibling. He felt that hugs were an abomination of nature, ignoring the fact that he himself was also an abomination of nature. To him, the only reason to hug someone was in a sneaky attempt to murder them.

"All you have to do," explained Joy, as if it wasn't completely obvious, "Is to open your arms and wrap them around your sibling in an affectionate manner. Then, stay that way until all your anger at them vanishes and is replaced with love and a soft feeling like melting chocolate."

"Melting chocolate?" Peter shouted. "Aidan! I'm gonna hug you until you turn to chocolate and then I'll eat you!"

"Not if I eat you first, stupid!" replied Aidan. Peter gasped in horror.

"Stupid's a bad word! Mommy telled you not to say it!"

"You just said it! I'm telling!" Then, they embraced violently, in attempt to turn each other into chocolate.

Joy smiled her face lighting up like a ruptured gas main set aflame. "See? Just look at their enthusiasm! Now everyone try." The others in the room got up, and awkwardly attempted to hug each other.

Stefan and Damon were the first to have their hug go wrong. After about 30 seconds of hugging, they yanked each other's pants down. Stefan was wearing tighty-whities. This was somewhat disturbing. However, it was not nearly as embarrassing as Damon's.

Damon's rear end boasted a pair of hot pink boxers, which read "I Heart Las Vegas" in swirly letters. It was also signed all over by various women. Everyone gasped and giggled.

Meanwhile, Herman and Sherman were trying to strangle each other, and so were Peter and Aidan. Liz and Lydia had settled for a more subtle form of sabotage: they were picking each other's pockets. Liz took Lydia's makeup compact, and Lydia grabbed Liz's handcuffs. She then disposed of them in the garbage can.

Klaus and Elijah were having other problems. Neither wanted to embrace the other. This was due to many, many years of distrust. Instead, they eyed each other warily, standing at a distance from the other. Joy noticed this, and frowned.

"Awwww, you two are shy, aren't you?" Joy asked sympathetically. "Well, we can do something about that, can't we?" Joy then proceeded to push them toward each other. Then, she most unexpectedly lifted their arms and wrapped them around each other. They struggled to get away, but Joy had a secret weapon: superglue!

Cerulean and Apocalypse, meanwhile, were in the corner, hiding from the humiliation of having to publicly embrace each other.

End of chapter 5

Authors' Note:_ Okay, again, we're incredibly sorry about the wait for this chapter. We'll be updating again later today. _**There. Now you can't hate us.**_. Anyway, review! _


	6. Chapter 6:Crazy Meets Conspiracy

Authors' Note:** I know we updated earlier, but we promised another chapter, so here you go. Please, please, please review because I am depressed. **_We do not own __The Vampire Diaries__, or __I Know What You Did Last Summer__._

Chapter 6: Crazy meets Conspiracy

The hugging continued for a long time. Eventually, though, Joy had to use the bathroom. The second she left the room, everyone let go of their sibling and pushed each other away. All except for Peter and Aidan, who were still trying to turn each other into chocolate.

"All right everyone, this has gone on for long enough. I say we do something about this crazy bitch," stated Damon.

"What exactly are you planning on doing?" asked Stefan sharply. He didn't like Joy any more than anyone else in the room did, but let's face it; no one wanted a dead body on their hands. He'd had too much experience covering up murders to want to repeat the experience, especially since he had joined Klaus.

"What happened to the ripper?" complained Klaus. "I thought I'd brought you over to the darker side of your nature!"

"Believe me, Klaus, five minutes on bunny blood was enough to change him back to his forehead-y, brooding, diary-writing self," Damon remarked with his trademark smirk.

"What do you mean, to the dark side?" Herman asked.

"Wait, what? Is Star Wars on?" Sherman asked excitedly. Herman looked at his brother angrily. Some people were just plain stupid.

Cerulean sighed. "Look, the lady annoys the _hell_ out of me, but I've seen I Know What You Did Last Summer enough times to know that ending up with a dead body is never a good thing. Seriously, what are you planning to do?"

Meanwhile, no one noticed that her twin had run out the door screaming, "Freedom! Freedom!" and began to bludgeon the metal stand engraved 'Counselor Joy: Sibling Therapy' with a wooden baseball bat. Where she had gotten it, no one knew. Yet, she was pounding away at it like had been the cause of all of her problems. Cerulean would later attempt to reason with her moody sister.

After watching the angry girl beat the sign for a few minutes, they turned back to Damon too continue the plan. "You know," Liz scolded, "you can't plan a murder with the sheriff. I mean, this is a messed up town. Just look at that," she turned and gestured to Apocalypse, who was still beating and screaming at the sign. She continued, "But I have to draw the line somewhere. I can't let you plan a murder right under my nose."

Damon smirked and did his flirty eye thing. "Oh, Liz. I wasn't planning on killing her. I was thinking more along the lines of stealing her car."

The others stared, bewildered. "What would that accomplish?" Elijah asked. "You can't exactly do much to a person by stealing their car."

"Well, just look at what happened to Stefan when I stole his." The others stared.

"Aren't you going to tell us what happened?" Sherman asked.

Damon smiled. "Okay, but this is a loooooong story. Here's what happened."

flashback

Damon was lying on the couch, when his cell phone rang. Hmmm. Stefan and Elena were upstairs, so it couldn't be them. Caroline was off shopping with Bonnie. Even if it was Caroline, he wouldn't have answered, because he honestly did not care if she bought the green top with black stripes, or the black top with green stripes. That only left Alaric.

"Hey dude, what's up?" Damon said in a bored voice.

"Damon, I've got some news. You know that girl, Andie Starr, you used to date?"

Damon smirked. "Yeah, I saw her longer than any girls I dated since …" he paused, thinking hard. "Oh, yeah! 1982. Anyway, what's your point?"

"Okay, I ran into her earlier today, and she started going on and on about this bar she went to on Saturday. I thought it sounded really cool, and seeing as you have no life, you could come with me. What do you say?" Alaric paused, obviously out of breath.

Damon also paused. Alaric just insulted him, but he had no plans. Why not? "Why not?" he responded. "I've got no plans, you've got no plans, and if Andie still lives up to her reputation, I can meet some interesting people." By this he meant more pretty women.

So, Damon got ready. He was supposed to pick up Rick in his car, but it was out of gas, and he was too lazy to pay. So, he borrowed Stefan's sports car, without asking his permission. Damon picked Rick up from his apartment, and drove to the bar, which was a good 34 miles away. They had a good time. Damon met plenty of women to flirt with, but Rick was still not over Jenna. He just sulked into drink.

After many hours, flirting, and drinks, Damon and Rick climbed into the car. However, they were both drunk. They made it about 40 feet before they were pulled over by some cops. Considering their extreme levels of intoxication, it was lucky they even made it that far.

"All right, out of the car," the female cop yelled. The two men got out of the car. Damon forgot to pretend to be human. He stared into the cop's eyes, pulling her into compulsion.

"Follow me into my car," he commanded. The cop obeyed. She followed him into the car, leaving Alaric outside. He began to slur about the different colored houses, but then passed out on the sidewalk.

Meanwhile, Damon and the cop were making out. It was getting pretty hot, until he snapped her neck. Blood got all over Stefan's seats. "Whoops," Damon managed to get out, before licking some of the blood off. He then turned on the radio and began to drive. 'Blow' by Ke$ha, came on. He began to scream, "BACK DOOR CRACKED, WE DON'T NEED A KEY! WE GET IN FOR FREE! NO VIP SLEAZE!" and paid less attention to the road. He narrowly avoided running several people over, but it was the middle of the night and not many people were out.

Eventually, he managed to get home in one piece. However, as he was attempting to parallel park into the garage, 'Party in the USA' by Miley Cyrus came on. Jumping up in shock ( because he really didn't like that song), he pressed the gas pedal too hard and Stefan's car crashed through the walls and ended up in the living room of the usually neat Boarding House.

"Whoops," Damon said. Then, he staggered off to bed and passed out.

End of Flashback

The others stared in amazement at his story. Peter and Aidan, who had finally accepted the fact that neither was going to turn to chocolate, stood there, eyes huge with awe.

"Damon! You drove drunk!" exclaimed the sheriff in horror. "You were DWI-ing! I could arrest you for that!"

"I wasn't dealing with it! I was driving while intoxicated!" Damon shouted.

"Wait, hold on," Stefan said slowly. "So you left Alaric alone. In some random town in the middle of nowhere. Passed out drunk on the sidewalk. Isn't he your drinking buddy?"

"Oh. Riiiiight. Shit, I knew I forgot something," Damon responded.

Then, Joy returned from her extremely long bathroom break.

"Okay, friends, what did I miss?" she asked excitedly. Everyone in the room froze and exchanged glances that would have seemed suspicious to a decent counselor, but not to a moron like Joy.

"Nothing," they all said. Apocalypse was still abusing the sign outside.

End Of Chapter 6

Authors' Note: In the next chapter, they begin their crazy plan. Review! Please!


	7. Chapter 7: Anyone Know to Hotwire a Car

Authors' Note: _Thanks to everyone who reviewed so far. Constructive criticism and/or praise are always appreciated. _**Please review. **_Enjoy the chapter!_** We do not own ****The Vampire Diaries****, and I might as well mention we're not actually twins. **_Remember to review. _**I don't care if you criticize or flame.**

Chapter 7: Anyone Know How To Hotwire a Car?

While Joy babbled on about how they all bonded during her bathroom break, everyone began to sketch out a plan. Joy was lost in her own little world. During this time, Apocalypse came back inside, because she was freezing.

"So, did I miss anything from Joy the Jackass?" Apocalypse asked casually. Stefan leaned over and whispered the plan into her ear. She smiled. "I'm soooo in. What's the whole plan?" Everyone looked around, each expecting someone else to explain.

"Well, we haven't exactly figured that part out yet," admitted Elijah. "We're going to hotwire her car, but we haven't worked out the details.

"Actually, Peter and I have an idea," piped up Aidan. "When we hotwire the car, can we cover the inside with chocolate?"

"Pleeease?" added Peter. The rest of the group nodded in agreement.

"Is this legal?" asked Cerulean apprehensively.

"Definitely not," replied Liz. "So far, we're committing theft and destruction of property."

"Does that mean you're out?" asked Lydia, clearly disappointed.

"Of course not! If I'd known that breaking the law was this much fun, I never would have become sheriff!" Liz exclaimed. She looked like she was having the time of her life.

Herman and Sherman shared the same expression. "I haven't done anything this crazy since the time you pushed me out of that plane in Turkey!" said Sherman. Herman looked confused.

"Wait, I thought you pushed _me_ out of a jet in Istanbul!" Herman cried.

"I did!" replied Sherman, sharing a quizzical look with his brother. Then they burst out laughing. Damon rolled his eyes.

"Can we get back to the plan now?" he asked. "Now, we need a way to distract her. Who has an idea for that?" Suddenly, there was a banging noise coming from the closet. They all jumped, because they'd completely forgotten about Matt.

"Can you please let me out now!" he called. "I'm not crazy! Ask anyone! My girlfriend, my sister, or even my estranged alcoholic mother! Just get me the hell out of here!"

Stefan sighed. "Okay, Matt, I'll explain this slowly. Your… sister… is… dead. Your… mother… skipped… town. You… dumped… your… girlfriend. She… is… going… out…with… Tyler… now! Understand?" He spoke in the kind of voice you use when talking to someone who has a very slow mind.

"I'm not retarded! Shut up and get me out!" yelled Matt.

"Nope," said Damon. "Counselor Crazy has the keys."

"Damn it," Matt muttered. He then returned to whatever he had been doing in the closet.

Klaus cleared his throat. "Back to the plan, now. How about we fill the tires with blood, organize an underground pressure system, so that when she drives, the tires explode, and she's surrounded by a pool of blood? I love blood!" The others stared as if he claimed he was wearing Hello Kitty underwear. "I mean, I love bloody films. They're exciting."

"Still, where would we get that much blood?" Liz asked. "And does anyone even know how to build an underground pressure system?"

Apocalypse's eyes lit up. "Ooh! Our younger sister, Bellatrix was arrested for building an underground pressure system!" Now it was her turn to be stared at. "Yeah, she's in juvy now."

Cerulean just hung her head in shame. "Well, I kind of taught her how. But it was only because she said it was for a science fair project."

"That sounds… interesting," said Damon. "But I think me and Stefan could do the distraction. Right, Steffy?" Stefan raised his eyebrows.

"You mean that thing we did in the seventies, with that crazy girl who kept following us around?" he asked. Damon nodded. "Well, it's going a little too far, but I guess just this once," said Stefan.

"There's still the small matter of where we're going to get the blood," said Lydia. She looked at her sister, expecting an answer. Liz didn't have one, so she looked at Damon. Damon didn't have an answer. The room filled with silence, except for Joy's constant babbling. That gave Damon an idea.

"Why don't we just take _her_ blood?" The others liked the idea, but they would have to drain Joy's entire body to get that much blood. Herman and Sherman had a better idea.

"We know how to make fake blood," said Herman.

"Wait! We learned it from that time with that place—you know the one—where we learned how to, well, you know," realized Sherman.

"Yeah, _that_ one," agreed Herman. "So, let's do it then."

"But wait, does anyone know how to hotwire a car?" asked Elijah. Liz smiled.

"Oh, that's easy. I learned it at the Police Academy."

"They teach that at the Police Academy?" questioned Lydia, her eyebrows raised. "If I'd known that, I would have gone with you instead of telling you it was stupid!"

"Yeah, it wasn't actually in the curriculum. See, there was a wild party going on one night. I'll spare you the details, but one thing led to another, and well, we ended up with a car that wasn't ours, and we had to hotwire it in order to get it back to the owner."

"Whoa, Liz… That's so badass," said Damon, looking surprised that the usually conservative sheriff ever did something so wild. Peter looked confused.

"What's 'badass' mean?" he asked.

"Never mind, kid. Go back to your delusions of chocolate," Damon told him. They went back to planning.

"Okay," said Stefan. "So Liz and Lydia are going to hotwire her car while Damon and I distract Joy. Then, Peter and Aidan will fill her car with chocolate. Cerulean and Apocalypse will build and underground pressure system, and Herman and Sherman will mix some fake blood. Elijah and Klaus will take that and fill the tires with it. Now, is there anything we missed?"

"I have a question," said Cerulean. "What exactly are you and Damon going to do to distract Joy?"

"There are some things better left unsaid," replied Damon solemnly. "But trust us, it's going to work."

End of Chapter

Authors' Note:_We're really sorry__we couldn't update in a while. We were out of town for a while, and we kept forgetting. Anyway, please leave a review! It can be anything: a flame, praise, constructive criticism, even just 'good' or 'bad'._** I appreciate flames. They amuse me. **


	8. Chapter 8: The Plan

Authors' Note: _Thanks to everyone who reviewed so far. It really motivates us to keep writing new chapters._** Enjoy this chapter. I want to put in some filler chapters, with Caroline and Tyler and Minnie, and maybe some other characters. I want your opinion on this, though. If you think it would be too long or too distracting from the main story, just say the word.**

_**Disclaimer: We do not own The Vampire Diaries TV show or the books.**_

Chapter 8: The Plan

Everything was in order for the plan. Now, all they needed to do was start the distraction.

"Okay, friends!" exclaimed Joy. "Now that we've all bonded, bonding leads to trust. And trust is shown by one thing: trust falls!" Stefan and Damon exchanged conspiratorial looks.

"Distraction time!" whispered Damon to Stefan. Stefan nodded.

"What was that? Is there something you would like to share with the group?" asked Joy.

"Actually, yes, there is something," said Damon. He was wearing his most evil smirk, the one he had on right before he ripped someone's heart out (Literally). "Stefan and I would like to go first."

"Wonderful!" Joy tittered merrily. "See! You really have started bonding now! It's so inspirational to see you two so enthusiastic about demonstrating the fact that you care deeply about each other."

"I'll go first," said Stefan. He stood in front of Damon, braced himself for the impact, closed his eyes, and fell back. As he fell, Damon caught the back of his shirt. The shirt was yanked off, and Stefan landed on the floor, shirtless. Then, as planned, Damon 'tripped' and his shirt caught on a nearby table, which caused it to be ripped off.

"Crap. I liked that shirt," complained Damon. The two Salvatore brothers stood there in all their shirtless glory. Joy's jaw dropped.

"Something wrong?" asked Damon in a fake concerned voice.

"Umm…. uhhhh…. nehgehbehblehbleh," mumbled Joy. She had started to drool. You would think that most women had seen enough shirtless men to not act like such a fool, but Joy probably hadn't had a date- or been invited to a pool party in years because she was so annoying. So she didn't see that many shirtless guys. Even if she did, they weren't nearly as hot as Stefan and Damon. She was so distracted, she didn't even notice when Apocalypse snuck up behind her, and smacked her on the head with a wooden baseball bat.

Klaus frowned at the 13-year old. "Why couldn't I have done that?"

"Well," Cerulean replied, "You asked Stefan to become a 'ripper'. For all we know, you could have meant 'stripper'."

Peter had a new question. "What's a 'stripper'?" he asked innocently. No one answered. His brother smacked him on the head.

"You idiot! A 'stripper' is the person who cuts up chicken to make chicken strips!"

Peter smiled. "You mean like at McDonalds?"

"I didn't think about that! But yeah! See, big brother, you can be smart!"

Ignoring the twins' little discussion, Klaus returned to his own issue. "Wait- how did you know about the deal?" asked Klaus. "What, are our lives being broadcast into a reality show?" Clearly, he had no idea that his statement was true.

"Never mind," Apocalypse said quickly. "We can talk about this some other time. Now, the plan. Joy won't stay unconscious forever!" She had a sudden idea. "Quick! Stuff her in the closet."

Stefan hoisted Joy over his shoulder and unlocked the closet door. Matt smiled. "Hey, you guys finally decided to let me ou-". He never got to finish his sentence. At that moment, Apocalypse wielded her baseball bat and smacked him on the head.

"Was that really necessary?" Stefan asked her.

Apocalypse nodded. "Absolutely," she replied. "Matt didn't know about the plan, and could mess it up. Plus, I sincerely doubt he would let us take all the chocolate, and everything Herman and Sherman need to make fake blood." She had a point.

"Would you two please put your shirts back on?" Elijah asked. He was clearly uncomfortable with seeing Stefan and Damon shirtless.

"No!" protested Lydia. Stefan and Damon looked at her. She blushed. "I mean, you might get some of the fake blood spilled on them! That would be terrible."

"Isn't she married?" whispered Cerulean to Apocalypse.

"Can we go get the chocolate now?" asked Aidan. Peter nodded enthusiastically, as if he planned on eating it himself. (He probably did).

"Sure, kid," said Liz. "But just wait until I hotwire the engine. And Cerulean and Apocalypse still have to build the underground pressure system."

"We're on it," said Cerulean. Herman frowned.

"What about us? When do we get to make fake blood?" he questioned.

"Yeah, when?" complained Sherman.

"You can start now. Get the supplies from the closet and get started before Jackass Joy over there wakes up," commanded Elijah.

Meanwhile, Klaus stood off to the side, scanning everyone else's actions. "Elijah," he said to his half brother, "Do you recall the _real_ reason we're here? It isn't to bond with these morons over mundane matters like the disposing of an irksome woman. It's to allow the Salvatore brothers to reconcile so that we can use them both for _the plan_," he hissed in Elijah's ear.

"You mean the one where we all vandalize Joy's car?" asked Elijah.

"No, you imbecile. My plan. The other plan. The truly diabolical one."

"Oh. That one," Elijah realized. He attempted to smooth over his mistake. "I know. But we can't let these people know what we're really planning."

"True. Let's just play along."

So they went back to helping the others. They helped Peter and Aidan to smear the interior of Joy's brand new bright yellow Ferrari with chocolate. Liz, assisted by Lydia, hotwired the engine. Cerulean and Apocalypse finished their underground pressure system. Herman and Sherman boiled together some corn syrup, red food coloring, water, cherry juice, and threw a few pennies in.

"What are the pennies for?" asked Lydia.

"To give that metallic smell," explained Herman.

"It's the secret ingredient. It makes the blood more realistic," Sherman added.

When it was all done, Damon and Stefan drove the car over to the spot where the pressure system was located. They filled the tires with blood.

"The way this works," explained Apocalypse, "Is that when a car drives on it, it causes an explosion that makes the tires blow up."

Oh, the fun they would have with Counselor Joy. XD

End of Chapter

Authors' Note: _Okay, we hope you like this chapter. The next one will either be Caroline, Minnie, and Tyler again, or Joy's reaction to the plan. _**It's your choice, so tell us. By the way, this is what I think an evil emoticon should look like:**

**={[) **

**Review.**

_Cerulean _and **Apocalypse**


	9. Chapter 9:That Awkward Silence

Authors' Note: _Sorry we haven't updated in a while. We meant to, but we kept forgetting. _**Thanks to those who reviewed. We don't own The Vampire Diaries. If we did, Jenna would still be alive :'(. **_And Damon and Stefan would never wear shirts.___**Enjoy the chapter. Second to last one. **

Chapter 9: That Awkward Silence when Something Doesn't Go According to Plan

Oddly, when they got back, Joy was still unconscious.

"Hey, she's still out," said Herman.

"Is that normal?" questioned Lydia. "I mean, are people always out for so long?"

"Believe me," Klaus said, "I've seen people remain unconscious for weeks."

"Really? Are you a doctor or something?" asked Peter innocently. Klaus jumped back a little. He wasn't used to children. They were as irksome as hugging.

"In a way. He authorizes blood transfusions," Elijah replied casually.

"Should we just go?" asked Liz. "I mean, she might suspect us. The deputies would have to-" she stopped mid-sentence, having remembered that all the deputies had mysteriously been killed in 'animal attacks'. "Never mind."

"Quiet! I think she's waking up!" hissed Stefan. Joy stirred, and her eyelids fluttered open. She sat up and looked around, bewildered.

"Joy, are you okay?" asked Aidan. He did this in an extremely fake way, because he didn't actually care if she wasn't.

"I think so," mumbled Joy. "That was weird! One minute I was just standing there, and then you two-" she pointed at Stefan and Damon—"you lost your shirts! And then something hit me on the back of the head, and then I woke up here!" She looked at the clock. "Oh my gosh! Therapy time is over, friends! Oh, well. Look at how well you've bonded! Group hug!" She tried to force everyone to get together and hug, but only Sherman did. Finally, Joy skipped out of the room, singing:

_Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I,_

_And let's face it, who isn't, less fortunate than I?_

_My tender heart tends to start to bleed…_

Her voice faded away.

"Guess what?" asked Sherman. He held up a cell phone. "I stole her magic buzzing contraption! It's a new MyTouch 4G from T-Mobil, with face-chat!"

"This sounds like a bad advertisement," said Stefan. "I feel like that happens a lot. Like when Bonnie and Elena talked on MiFi. It was exactly like a commercial, only crappier."

"That's weird," agreed Damon. "Or the time I killed Mason, and Jeremy was bragging about how he could do a search on his phone."

"You killed Mason?" shrieked Liz. "Okay, that's it. I've excused you enough times, Damon. You're going to jail."

"That's fine. I'll just tell them how you vandalized an innocent counselor's car," Damon replied smoothly.

"Shut up! Joy's going into the parking lot. Let's see what happens!" said Cerulean excitedly. They all turned to the window and watched as Joy walked into the parking lot.

"Hey, where's my car?" they heard Joy say, perplexed. "Here, car!" she called. "Here, car car car!"

"Imbecile," muttered Klaus. Then Joy noticed her car parked a few blocks away. She ran over and hugged it.

"Oh, Brad, I thought I'd lost you forever!" she wailed despairingly. She wept tears of joy. "But it's okay, I'm here now!" She sounded like a character in a bad soap opera. She got into the car, finally ceasing her tears. She put the key in the ignition, and the car lurched forward—for a moment.

That was when everything went wrong.

Joy realized that she was sitting in chocolate, and cried, "Oh, Brad, you're hurt! Never fear, I'll fix you!" She jumped out of the car (Which was still moving), probably to get some cleaning supplies from the trunk. But the underground pressure system was already set off, and the entire car exploded. Fake blood was everywhere. "What the fuck?" she screamed. She seemed to realize something. "Vampires," she said to herself quietly. "That's the only explanation." To everyone's horror, she whipped out various lethal weapons for hunting vampires, and continued to mutter to herself.

"Was that supposed to happen?" asked Aidan.

"Why is she so stupid? Vampires aren't real!" said Peter, beginning to laugh.

"Look at all those weapons! She looks like someone out of Buffy the Vampire Slayer!" giggled Lydia.

The four vampires exchanged ominous glances. "What do we do now?" asked Elijah. "We can't compel her, she's on vervain."

"There's only one option," said Stefan solemnly. He whispered something to Damon, who smiled.

"Well, obviously," he replied. Then, anyone could ask what Stefan had said, the two brothers raced towards Joy. She held up a pair of wooden stakes and began to babble in gibberish.

"Sorry about this," said Stefan apologetically. "There's no other way."

"Yeah, and we're doing a humanitarian act by killing you," added Damon. "No one deserves to be stuck with you." With that, he snapped Joy's neck. She collapsed on the ground, dead.

"Come on, we'd better get rid of the body," said Stefan.

End of Chapter

Authors' Note: **THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER! THERE IS AN EPILOGUE. **_Please review, We hope you have enjoyed this. Again, this is not the last chapter._

~_Cerulean_ and** Apocalypse=)**


	10. Chapter 10:The Aftermath

Authors' Note: _Okay, so this is the last chapter ;(. We know how heartbroken you all are. _**No, not really.**_ Anyway, enjoy! _**Please Review!**

Chapter 10: The Aftermath of Everything, Otherwise Known as Epilogue

Stefan and Damon hurriedly shoved Joy's body off a cliff. Then, they ran back to the Grill and joined the others.

"Well, what happened?" asked Sherman.

"Nothing. We just took Joy to her rightful place," Damon explained, wearing his trademark smirk.

"By which my brother means, a mental hospital," added Stefan hurriedly.

"Yeah, sure. Anyway, you can all go home now," said Damon. The other siblings slowly exited the Grill, laughing and talking about what had happened.

"Did you see the tires explode?" said Peter to Aidan excitedly. "It was amazing!" His twin nodded enthusiastically.

"Here's my number, Damon," Lydia said, batting her eyelashes and giggling.

"You're married! " Liz reminded her, laughing.

"Not for long," giggled Lydia playfully. They walked out together. On the way they encountered Caroline and Minnie.

"Oh, my God! What have you done to her!" shrieked Lydia. Melinda was still wearing vampire fangs.

"It was so fun, Mommy!" exclaimed Minnie cheerfully. "Caroline let me play with her makeup, and then Caroline's boyfriend Tyler Lockwood came over. He was so much fun! I gave him a haircut! and then I took a nap, and when I woke up, Caroline and Tyler were making out. It was so romantic! And best of all, Mommy, I'm a vampire!"

"He's not my boyfriend," said Caroline hastily. "And in my defense, I didn't tell her anything about vampires."

"She's turning into one of those Twilight freaks!" Lydia wailed, with tears in her eyes.

Meanwhile, Peter and Aidan walked up to Minnie and attempted to flirt with her.

"Hey, I'm Peter," he said, smoothing his hair. "And if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together." Aidan shoved him out of the way.

"Be quiet, Peter. And girl, I must say, my love for you is like diarrhea: I just can't hold it in," he said smoothly, expecting her to swoon.

"Boys are icky," said Minnie, tossing her hair. "Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider. I want a man." With that, she sauntered out dramatically.

"You scared her away!" they each accused. Whatever short-term friendship they might have had was gone, and they returned to arguing, until their mom showed up and threatened to give them a time out.

Herman and Sherman also left. "I like corn," said Herman, after a moment of silence had passed. "Do you like corn?"

"I like radishes better, but corn's okay," said Sherman. The two looked at each other for a moment, and then started laughing, because apparently, it was a long-forgotten inside joke.

Cerulean and Apocalypse passed by, and thought about their other sister, Bellatrix.

"So you seriously taught her how to build that underground pressure system?" asked Apocalypse after a while.

"Yeah," admitted Cerulean.

"I gotta admit, she kind of deserved Juvy. After all, she did destroy your Starlight Fairy Barbie."

"She did that?" exclaimed Cerulean. "I always thought that was you, so I destroyed your teddy bear in revenge!"

"That's why you killed Mrs. Cotton Candy?" asked Apocalypse, shocked. "And Nutcracker Barbie?"

"I didn't do anything to Nutcracker Barbie. What—Oooooh, that's right! I always meant to tell you, Bellatrix did that! She dunked the doll's head in the toilet and dried its hair with toilet paper, and said she was 'helping'."

"Her hair was never the same," sighed Apocalypse. "So Bellatrix is really the cause of all our problems."

"Huh. We're never bailing her out of juvy. Or prison."

"Agreed."

..~0~..

There was a thumping noise coming from inside the closet. They had forgotten Matt.

..~0~..

Alaric woke up. Where the hell was he? He was surrounded by different colored houses. Suddenly, he remembered how Damon had left him on the sidewalk after leaving a bar. The guy was a total dick.

..~0~..

Joy was suddenly jerked back to life. The vampire blood had done its trick. And so had her plan. Joy was once a vampire hunter, who then wanted to be one. But no one would turn her, because apparently she was annoying. So she was forced to kill one, and drink his blood. To complete the transformation, she could have killed herself. But it was wayyyy more fun to annoy the hell out of people until they killed her. Joy was a vampire now.

End of Story. 

Authors' Note: _We would just like to say a final thank you to those who reviewed. It really motivated us to keep going. _**However, I feel we need to distinguish what is and isn't real about the two of us. **_(You don't have to bother reading this, but here it is, just in case you were wondering)_ We aren't actually twins, and our names aren't Cerulean and Apocalypse (Those are just pennames. We didn't feel comfortable using our actual names). Our younger sister is not in juvy and her name isn't Bellatrix. (We got the name from the Harry Potter series. Bellatrix is her favorite Death Eater). Cerulean did own a Starlight Fairy Barbie, which Bellatrix destroyed. Apocalypse also owns a Nutcracker Barbie, which Bellatrix also destroyed in the manner we stated earlier (She was quite destructive as a small child). Apocalypse also has a teddy bear called Mrs. Cotton Candy, but she never had her head torn off and is happily married to Apocalypse's other bear, Blizzard **(I was seven, shut up)**. Anyway, thank you so much for reading. Please review!

~_Cerulean_ and** Apocalypse**


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